I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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