I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I need to stop coming to work sober
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
