Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
