Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
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