i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
