She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
