1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
