i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
