Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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