One girl and one boy is just not enough.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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