Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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