so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
