if i can run in heels then i can drive
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
