Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
