I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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