So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize