you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
my poor anus
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
