I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
