I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
