ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
