only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
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I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
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Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize