I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
