He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
