I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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