she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
