He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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