I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize