I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
