Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
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