maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
