you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
