If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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