I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize