just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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