you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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