i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
