Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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