Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
