where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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