I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
