Taylor Swift is so right about you.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
