Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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