i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
