oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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