The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Porn is love you can see.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
