last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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