Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
