how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
