Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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