I could have mohawked her pubes.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
whose parrot is this?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
