If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
im holly from the hills drunk
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Come on in and take your pants off
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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