maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
