Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
