We're like a lot better than the average bears
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
