I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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