She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
