I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
