you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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