i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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