I'm drive I can fine osifer
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
